Getting Through the Holidays While Grieving

I wanted to take this time to wish you a Merry Christmas and open up about how I am really doing. This holiday season has been difficult for me as it is the first Christmas without my Grandmom. She was the only one I knew, as my father's mother passed away when I was very young. I had spent much of this year coming to terms with her passing. However, the last couple of weeks leading up to today has been very emotional. It has come upon me like waves. One day I tried to go Christmas shopping and found myself tearing up in Hobby Lobby over a nativity scene that reminded me of her. I walked out with nothing and went home. I just couldn't bring myself to shop for gifts when my heart ached so much.

I have tried to get into the spirit of the season by decorating my house and baking. But I've come to realize it is ok to feel this way. I am allowed to grieve this holiday season and miss my Grandmom. I know a lot of friends have lost loved ones this year and I just wanted to share that if you are feeling this way, allow yourself to experience it. Remember the beautiful memories that you shared and find a way to honor them.

One of the ways I did this was by making my family an ornament with my Grandmom's handwriting. I scanned her signature and touched it up in Photoshop. I had found a clover the week before she passed away and pressed it to save. I incorporated it into the design. I chose mauve as the background since it is her favorite color and printed the ornaments in my studio. I sent them to all of my cousins, uncles, and aunt around the country. It was very therapeutic making these ornaments for everyone and hope it will hang on their trees in the years to come and remind them of all the wonderful memories with share with her.